• Shame Hides in Our Secrets

    Everyone has dark side or something they don't like about themselves. We want to learn how to be comfortable with noticing the shadows within without fear or judgement. When we keep secrets about ourselves from ourselves, it sets up an internal world of of confusion and self-denial. Once we bring out the parts of ourselves we've hidden into the light, we start to heal. Shame hides in our secrets, but in our therapy sessions there's no judgement and no reason to hide. Let's talk about the things that you've never said out loud. We'll talk through the difference in feeling ashamed and feeling guilty. Guilt often stems from something we've done that we regret. Shame shows up in a feeling that there's something wrong with us. 

    Folks that struggle with shame often feel worthless and responsible for everything that goes wrong. When things don't turn out the way we thought, we might let pervasive shame tell us that it's a statement about our unworthiness. We can internalize the tragedy as a punishment rather than simply bad luck. 

    There may be past sexual, physical, or emotional abuse that we've buried and our afraid to tell anyone about. You are not to blame for other people's mistreatment of you. You are also not defined by any specific event imposed on you by others. You are worthy of love and contentment in your life. You define your own meaning.

    When we're struggling with guilt we need to first make amends with ourselves. Forgiving ourselves for past transgressions is a vital part of healing. It's important to remember that everyone makes mistakes. We're all doing the best we can with the information we have. Let's work on self accepatance.